it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
