I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize