I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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