I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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