he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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