It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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