If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
