Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
