For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were trust falling into bushes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
