What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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