bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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