Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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