Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
