how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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