Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
