you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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