told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
