You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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