well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
