While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize