How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
