So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
