Plan B is the new Plan A
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
