I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
