Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
