i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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