what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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