Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
