I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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