Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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