sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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