Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Text me some of your sweat
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