what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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