a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
