But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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