Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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