Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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