absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
