If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
