scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
