Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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