I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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