Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
