exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
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The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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