The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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