I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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