Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
