escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Four minutes until I can fart!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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