why didn't you poke me back
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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