I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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