Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
nut hugger
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
