He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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