How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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