whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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