she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
