Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
